On my fetish background

NOTICE: The article below deals with adult topics and fantasies. If you are offended by this sort of thing or are not a legal adult, I suggest you leave this instant.

Although I do explain part of what I’m all about in my blog’s “About me” page, it’s nevertheless useful to provide some insight w.r.t. how my fascination with latex and D/s began, how it was shaped throughout the years and how it has pretty much distilled into becoming a rather crystallized, although still evolving, part of my personality. And by “personality”, I mean both RL and SL; my SL presence is an extension of who I am in RL, allowing me to do and be things I want to do and be in RL, but can’t, for a number of reasons (namely financial and practical).

I’ve been fascinated by latexwear since my teenage years – my first exposure must have been those fetish photoshoots by the likes of Suze Randall that were often seen in publications like “Penthouse” (which my brother in RL had been smuggling into our family home, proceeding to spend unusually long periods of time in the restroom). The shininess, the way latex clings to the body’s curves and flatters, even exaggerates them, it all appealed to me and I often fantasized about how I would look in such attire; Later on, as I began to understand more about the erotic and sexual context of those photoshoots, D/s and BDSM fantasies started to form in my mind and it all came into perspective. I also saw various pieces of comic-style artwork (later on, I found that one of the artists in that genre was Michael Manning) in adult-oriented (i.e. not of the Disney variety) comics magazines. My interest in latexwear was further heightened as the once fetish-only catsuits and super-tight dresses, leggings, tops and lingerie found its way to the fashion world.

For financial and practical reasons (imagine my mum coming to visit me in the town where I was studying and discovering a few sets of latex catsuits in the tiny wardrobe of my dorm room; not to mention the prices and the care needed), I never got around to acquiring such clothing in RL. And don’t even get me started on the fact that latex doesn’t let the skin breathe and offers practically zero protection from heat and cold. But still, it’s something I always wanted; the look of latex can be utterly fantastic.

Enter Second Life

Ah, Second Life (SL)… The  virtual world where so many of us come to be what we want to be in RL, but can’t be. From the very beginning of my existence in SL, I started buying whatever I could find that was fetish-oriented; from Szentasha Salome (anyone remember her?) and the earliest products of KDC, to Mistress Lycia’s offerings and the first output of Kayliwulf Kingdom. In those heady days, though, a lot of features that we now enjoy and take for granted were missing: proper (OK, it’s still semi-proper at the moment, but back then it was downright primitive) rendering of shininess, no sculpted prims, no mesh (of course) and no alpha layers. Even animation overriders were primitive (I still remember how comically ballet boots behaved back then) and their performance was iffy, at best.

Over the years, I had gathered lots of catsuits and other pieces of latex and leather fetishwear, from all sorts of merchants; from the cheapest to the costliest, from the nastiest to the highest (for the day) quality. The problem is, nothing seemed to satisfy me entirely; textures stretched over body curves (especially breasts) and became blurry, seams between top and bottom (e.g. shirt and pants) layers were visible at close range (a well-known defect of SL)… Not that there were not good products out there; there were, are and will continue to be. I just was never entirely satisfied.

2011-2012

In 2011, when alpha layers had started becoming more and more mainstream (hint: if you’re a content creator and still use invisiprims, ditch them now or just leave SL, PLEASE), I revisited some old favourites, namely the *KaS* waist corset and ballet boots made by Salid Sewell, and – of course – the ER Fetish Doll Hood by Winter Ventura of Eclectic Randomness fame, combined with the ER hair (single– or double-tail) and the ER latex implants. All this, however, was pretty much standard latex doll fare, and, if I’m completely honest, even though the end result was quite pleasing to the eye, it seemed as if I was in a uniform, since everyone else was using this combination. I ended up using this outfit rather rarely, since it was already far too common. Nowadays, this sort of outfit even looks like it’s a bit long in the tooth, and not because its components haven’t aged well; it’s just what I said earlier: it’s become almost a standard issue uniform as pretty much everyone in the latex doll subculture wears it.

I must say here that I haven’t only been fascinated by latexwear in general, but also by the whole total encasement idea, which gives me the enjoyment of being totally nude, yet fully covered at the same time, with my skin bonded with layers of shiny, black latex and my face disappearing completely, behind an utterly featureless facade, inside a sleek hood that makes one wonder if I’m human or if I’m a man-made pleasure robot… Or a bane from the now-famous “Eudeamon” story by Evil-Dolly.

Now, I’m definitely not a fan of the “Bane” concept, for two reasons:

  • SL is all about interaction with your (virtual) environment and the other avatars, and this includes the limitation of your degree of interaction by your Dom(me).
  • Moving around in complete isolation and with no way of even communicating with your friends and loved ones is certainly not my idea of fun.

Then again, one would say “what do you know about being a Bane? You’ve never signed up for any banishment project”. Indeed, I haven’t; but I’ve spent quite a few months as a statue (a Sphinxgirl) at Sin Labs, and a very significant part of this time was with pretty much the same restrictions a Bane would experience: no chat, no IMs, no inventory,  no edit/rez, no touch (far or near), no notecards, no textures (usually), no teleports… And, of course, I couldn’t move. What was it like? Well, it was exciting for a short while (your mileage, of course, may vary), due to the rush I was getting from the mere idea of putting myself under someone else’s control. Also, to be honest, back then I had just come back to SL from a year-long hiatus (I had deleted my first account), so there was almost no one for me to really miss. So, I felt I had nothing to lose, as I was starting anew and my SL was basically a tabula rasa. But… It got overbearing after a relatively short time. It  became clear that this didn’t cover my own needs for meaningful existence in SL, so one day I requested to be released and never got back into full-time, 100% restrictions.

That’s not to say I bash people who want to be full-time Banes or statues in SL; it’s just not my cup of  tea.

In the meantime, I’d been reading various articles on BDSM and D/s in RL. I downloaded lots and lots of photos from fetish photoshoots and cherished artwork by artists like Michael Manning, John Willie, Hajime Sorayama et al. The stories of so many – famous, semi-famous and even downright uknown – writers in various websites relating to this fetish world also got my attention and, over time, I found myself developing a set of fantasies and fetishes that, along with my fascination for the Bronze Age civilizations of the Eastern Mediterranean region (with a strong focus on the Minoan civilization, actually), eventually shaped and defined my SL existence. And I’d sometimes dabble in wearing that old latex doll outfit…

To wrap it up, this is how it all started for me. And what really attracts, fascinates and seduces me into this form is the combination of aesthetic qualities I’ve seen in fetish artwork (literary and pictorial) and the erotic and sensual connotations of voluntary helplessness and submission.

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Mona (formerly slutrix)

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Shortlink: http://wp.me/p2pUmX-3N

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First posted at: http://wp.me/p2RycE-3N

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