NOTICE: The subject of this post is of an erotic, fetishistic and romantic nature. If you are not legally allowed to read such material, and / or if such readings offend you, I suggest you leave right now.
When I wrote my post “Back in Rubber” back in January, I was celebrating the success of an emotional effort that started way back in early 2020. I was trying to reclaim my desires and fetishes, from which I’d become alienated after a slow, protracted, and agonising break-up. What put the final touch in this break-up was a venomous fatal crosspost which hurt me very deeply, but, in retrospect, served as an eye-opener of sorts.
Reclaiming my desires and fetishes made me a lot more enthusiastic about them, and even about Second Life itself. So, I I’ve spent practically all my in-world time covered in my latex outfit since then and under RLV / RLVa restrictions. The only times I got out of it only were for short photoshoots, for the needs of blog posts that covered different themes and aspects of SL, and I only bothered logging in with RLV / RLVa switched off when I needed to tinker with my outfits or attend Linden Lab’s in-world user group meetings. As I travelled across the grid throughout the year, I saw that no one raised an eyebrow at my openly sexualised and utterly fetishistic appearance. In fact, it drew a fair deal of compliments. Of course, this was encouraging and gave me a much-needed confidence boost. I also had an opportunity to do a photoshoot with my good friend the Zany Zen, creator of the Zany Zen Railway (ZZR), back in July.
Throughout these months, I’ve been refining my latex look with various tweaks here and there. For instance, I swapped the strappy version of the NGW Andromede boots for the version with laces (both versions are included in the package), because it works much better with kneeling poses, which are always a problem in SL. However, a more radical change came in August.
I’ll give you a little background information about it, and things will get a bit personal here. This change was first suggested to me sometime in late 2012 or early 2013 by the person with whom I was involved back then. She mentioned that she’d like to explore some “darker imaginings” with me, and proceeded to change into a version of her “regular” full latex body built around an armless mesh avatar body, inspired by some rather extreme fetish illustrations, explaining why she found it appealing. At first, I wasn’t sure what to think. It was unsettling, yet oddly fascinating with the helplessness it implied.
To be honest, this wasn’t the first time I saw an avatar like that, though – or the last: I’d seen such artwork before, and – as I wrote earlier – I found it unsettling, yet strangely appealing; I guess it spoke to the part of me that craved to experience the thrill of submitting completely by becoming absolutely helpless. Also, one of her exes, who had dropped in on us once a few weeks before this discussion took place, favoured this look. Finally, around that time, during one of my visits to Lust Melody’s Drone Station, I saw another latex drone that was locked in a similar look.
I’ve always been up for trying different things – after all, in SL you can experience and become things you couldn’t possibly experience or become in RL. While the armless look had the aforementioned strange appeal, the mesh body that made this look possible left an awful lot to be desired, and I had mixed feelings about the result. Another issue was the lack of appropriate alpha cuts and a HUD to control them, which made it impossible to use corsets and other pieces of kit. Eventually, want of a decent mesh body to support this look made me a little reluctant to respond to her desire to engage in roleplay with this particular theme at its centre.
As the break-up was coming near, I had started resenting not only the ideas she had brought to my attention, but my own fetishes and desires that I indulged in thanks to SL, because I had associated them with her. As I gradually recovered, though, I embarked on a new romantic journey with Ani, who’s been my best friend in SL ever since we met. She stood by my side, nurtured me during my recovery process, and gave me the necessary support and encouragement to begin experimenting again. Eventually, She became my Mistress.
So, while discussing with her about possible ways to expand / improve my look, I brought up this idea. While She does prefer me with arms, which She finds most enjoyable for hugs and cuddling, She also enjoys having me completely helpless, in a look that suggests an extremely deep submission. So, was this a favour on Her behalf? Perhaps you could say that, and you’d have a point.
Now, one thing I knew from the beginning of this journey was that Mistress Ani has always preferred sleek hoods rather than ones with oral sheaths / tubs, and She did raise this subject in one of our discussions. So, the time came for a few more changes: out went the NGW Danaide hood and in came the [RaS] Bane Hood by Danna Pearl. While I was at it, I enhanced my breasts with the Nifty Bits – Nipple Stretcher by Trix (trixitopps Resident), and I added the ponytail of the .:EMO-tions:. * WANDA * hairstyle by Mirja Mills.You can see the end result below. Of course, I modified everything to suit my look and match the colour and shininess.
Of course, And finally, to top it all off, I added this really interesting plug called “Dionysos” – it’s a collaboration between NGW and ✝ Lepus Noctis ✝ and has some rather… interesting functionality. I might post a review of it at a later date.
So, what will be the next step? I’m not sure yet. Mistress and I are both really happy with the look as it is. Of course, this doesn’t mean it’s reached its final form or that its evolution has it a wall – far from it. Mistress and I both have a few ideas, and I’ve talked to some content creators about them. I’m also looking at rescripting some of my items to lower their script count. There are functions I don’t need, and I’d like to adapt others to better fit our roleplay. Perhaps this could result in lower consumption of server time and memory, who knows? However, since my scripting skills are mediocre at best, and my 3D modelling skills non-existent, this could end up requiring me to hire someone to make custom scripts and 3D models for me. With RL economy being what it is, this is not my first priority. For the time being, and until I manage to put some money aside for the aforementioned custom work, it’ll do just fine. Oh well, I guess I could sit down and make a proper environment of my own to suit our roleplay needs and wishes while I raise this money.
Style credits for this post:
- Mesh Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara v5.0 Tattoo Layer by Onyx LeShelle
- Latex Hood: [RaS] Bane Hood v1.10 by Danna Pearl
- Ponytail: .:EMO-tions:. * WANDA * by Mirja Mills
- Collar: NGW Danaide Collar v1.01
- Corset: NGW Andromede Corset S3
- Boots: NGW Hera boots classic v1 (lace-up)
- Catsuit: .:B1:. Latex Classic Catsuit Solid Maitreya (tattoo layer) by Allison Black (theoriginalblackone Resident)
- Nipple Stretchers: Nifty Bits – Nipple Stretcher Maitreya by Trix (trixitopps Resident)
- Butt Plug: NGW/LepusNoctis: Dionysos plug
- Skin: LAQ ~ Lina BOM skin (No brows) – tone 3.0 by Mallory Cowen (it’s really irrelevant here, though)
- Eyes: IKON Perspective Eyes – Coffee (S) by Ikon Innovia (again, they’re irrelevant here)
- Poses: Body Language SLC various standing animations by manmoth Nishi
- Communication Implant: ER IconTalk by strαωвєяʀƴ milⱪ (Honey Puddles – formerly known as Winter Ventura)
- Reflections / Lights: Shine Queen – SQ’s Environment Box hidden frames v.1.4 by Ann (transann Resident)